


24 Things part 17

by shniam



Series: 24 Things [17]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, M/M, Mention of childbirth, Metro article, Perineal massage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-21 13:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2470583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shniam/pseuds/shniam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 17 of 24 Things based on an article in Metro</p><p>Number 17. And it’s also possible to rip from your vagina to your bum hole when the baby comes out. </p><p>Niall has been reading parenting magazines since his 'scare' (see part 14!!) and one aspect of childbirth has shocked him.  Louis reassures him that perineal massage helps and describes how Harry likes it done...</p>
            </blockquote>





	24 Things part 17

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this one makes you cross your legs! 
> 
> Just an excuse for a little light smut really - hope you like!
> 
> And yes, Niall gives an accurate description of perneal massage!

17\. And it’s also possible to rip from your vagina to your bum hole when the baby comes out. 

It really shouldn’t have been any surprise to Louis to find Niall reading parenting magazines. Apparently the blond really did want to know more about pregnancy – ‘just in case it happens again’. No matter how many times Louis informed Niall that he didn’t have the ‘right equipment’ it never seemed to sink in. Hopefully then, he may pick something up from the magazines.

“Hey, Louis!” The Irish voice sang out from behind Niall’s latest purchase. “Did you know that women like, rip it open?”

Maybe Niall had been sniffing the newsprint again. “Rip what?” Louis asked.

“You know....” Niall waived a hand behind the magazine.

Maybe it was one of Zayn’s cigarettes. “No, I don’t know.”

Niall scanned the room with his eyes and lowered his voice, “You know. Their bits!”

Maybe it was the mould on the cheese. “Niall, they are pushing something the size of a bowling ball through the gap the size of a billiard ball. Of course it’s going to rip, you twat!”

Niall’s eyes widened until they were almost the size of small saucers. “But Harry said it goes from their fanny to their arse! It says so in Metro! That’s mental!”

Louis rest a hand on Niall’s shoulders. “Yes my friend, that’s the truth. I cannot lie. Why do you think men don’t give birth?! Passing kidney stones out your dick is painful enough!”

Niall held his magazine out to Louis. “Look in here!” He said, flapping the pages about. “Perineal massage! It’s what you should be doing!”

Louis raised his eyebrows as he shrugged his lips. “I do like my perineum massaged, I must admit.”

Niall slapped Louis’ shoulder with the magazine. “Not you, you idiot! Women!” He pointed a finger at a point on the open page. “Says here that you need to use a ‘water soluble lube. KY I guess, that’s always a favourite. Then place the thumb just inside the vag and press down towards your arse hole and to the sides. Hold the pressure for about a minute and try and relax the muscles, then gently massage back and forth for another three minutes.”

Louis listened with his head on one side. “So your average fingering then?” He said dryly.

“Louis! You’re disgusting! No nothing like that.”

Louis shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno, sounds like what I do to Haz.”

Niall said nothing in reply, just gave a blank look. He had the feeling Louis would elaborate whether he wanted him to or not. He wasn’t disappointed.

Louis sidled up to him, flinging an arm across his shoulders. “You see, what I do is I get Harry’s favourite lube, its a warming one, smells beautiful. Then I lube my fingers up really well, you should never skimp on lube Niall. Bad idea.”

Against his better judgement, Niall found himself nodding in agreement.

“Then I press my thumb against his hole and gently press, moving it around as I do. This teases him and relaxes the muscle so I can gently push a finger in, “ 

As he spoke Louis moved his head closer to Niall’s ear so he was almost whispering into it. “When I am in, I can feel Harry clench around me, his tight muscles constricting and holding me still. I move my finger to stretch him, round and round in that hot little hole until I can get another in.”

Niall gulped. It was suddenly getting very warm in the room. He moved the magazine in front of him.

Louis glanced down quickly as he continued his description. “Then I curl my fingers upwards, like this.” He gave a small demonstration. “Searching for that little mound of nerves that I just know is going to send sparks cursing through Harry’s body. With my other fingers I am stroking the area behind his balls, teasing him by brushing them occasionally. Do you like a bit of teasing Ni? I bet you do. I also push on the little area just outside his hole, another bit of teasing. If I am feeling kind I may add another finger. Did you know Harry can take four comfortably?”

Niall found himself gulping again and discreetly trying to press down the growing bulge at the front of his trousers.

Louis dropped his voice lower and spoke slowly. “Then when I am good and ready I slide my lube covered hand up and down my cock, covering it with the warming gel. I love the heat it gives off, all tingly. Then I grab hold of Harry’s hips and push in.” Louis let out a groan himself at the thought. When Niall looked up Louis’ eyes had darkened, he didn’t think Louis had looked any more erotic. “God Niall, that boy is tight!” Louis closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again he grabbed hold of Niall’s shoulder and patted him. “Now if you will excuse me I need to go find him.”

Niall stood where Louis had left him, looking around him and feeling lost. Really, what was his life?


End file.
